…aaaaaaand Scene!

You can probably gather by the fact that not a single post happened in the month of May that everything is back to normal here. I am swamped at work, busy with several creative side-endeavors and actively staying on top of all family activities. This whole pitumor situation is like a very distant memory, even though it’s only been about three and a half months since the surgery.

I had my big follow-up appointment with Dr. Wilson yesterday, where he compared the before and after pictures of cranial innards. I received the best news possible at this point, and that is that there is no trace of the tumor remaining. Sound the all-clear. Raoul didn’t even leave a sock under the bed.

There needs to be some sort of huge celebration! This is a BIG deal! An egg-sized tumor pushing against my optic nerves is completely gone, and I feel absolutely great! Of course, since everything is back to “normal”, that means that I don’t really have time to do any kind of real celebrating on the massive scale it deserves – you know, parade floats, marching bands and significant drinking the likes of which were rarely attained even in my college years… So I guess I be happy with a good wine toast in a back yard hot tub.

I have to admit, I’ve been more than happy to abandon this blog. Not consciously, of course. Or at least not at first. But the lack of writing in it signifies to me that since I’ve dedicated this blog only to pitumor-related subject matter, then the issue itself has been resolved. In that light, why would anyone want to keep coming back and writing more?

Granted, it scared me a bit how my rampant anti-blogging sentiments so easily washed away as I learned to really enjoy writing in this one. But I have been reassured by how easily I dropped that time-consuming activity once I found myself able to again dive in head first to all of the other time-consuming activities with which I usually fill my life.

An interesting tidbit that has not yet made it to this series of observations: insurance is important. In fact, to say that would be like saying a brain is important. That would be the understatement of the millennium. Just as the lack of a brain would make one drop to the ground in no time flat, the lack of insurance would have had a similar effect with the added bonus of nausea and bankruptcy.

I received the final bill from St. Mary’s Hospital, and it was only $600 for the entire procedure and complete stay in the hospital. And, if I paid within 30 days, I could knock off 10%, reducing it to only $540. For brain surgery? That’s a bargain!! Add that together with all of the co-pays to various doctors and for miscellaneous MRI’s and a CT scan, and it totals maybe around $1,100, out of pocket. This is with Blue Cross’ Healthkeepers HMO insurance.

But St. Mary’s hadn’t sent an itemized bill, just a simple bill saying “this is what you owe.” So I requested an itemized bill. Seemed kind of odd, really. What didn’t they want me to know? Was I (or rather Healthkeepers) being charged$3,000 for a Sunday paper? Did that AmBien cost more than a Mercedes? Was Nurse Tactful charging triple time while waiting that half hour to respond to my pathetic cry for help?

When the itemized bill finally showed up, it appeared that all charges were logical, at least in the inflated realm of health care land. Not really any red flags. But the total, had I NOT been insured, came to $36,076.95. And that’s JUST for the hospital bill, not including the FULL price of the several MRI’s etc I mentioned only sentences ago.

There are a million and one things wrong with the state of health care in this country. But when I came to the realization that out of my pocket, I paid only less than 3% of the total charges racked up to accomplish this miracle, I had to draw up a special thank you card with big red hearts and excessive use of the words “really”, “thankful” and “a lot” to hand deliver to Mr. Health Keeper himself. It’s a temporary love affair, I’m sure, but one full of passion.

I’m now looking back on the entire first few months of this year as if it was just a very bizarre dream. A year ago I felt just as I do today. A half a year ago I thought I might need some eye surgery. A few months ago I was very, very scared. And now, once again, I’m planning 50 million different creative endeavors without yet even finishing the ones I’ve already started. Same old Dave.

But not on the inside. For starters, you can take that literally with the fact that my sinuses are a bit more roomy. But you can’t go on a ride like this and come out on the other side unchanged. As reflected in this blog, it’s been an amazing opportunity for reflection that I rarely allow myself to take unless forced. I am aware that I am so blessed, lucky, privileged – however you choose to look at it. There are so many ways this could have gone. The people I love more than life itself could have been in deep mourning at this point. Instead, I’m still watching Lost snuggled with a glass of wine on the couch, or applauding my son for finally jumping off the diving for the first time (today!!), or planning our next camping trip, or running by Mom’s to fix her email.

I choose to consider myself very, very blessed. I can only hope that, as life continues and I get myself into more and more ridiculously busy situations, I don’t forget this journey and all that I’ve had the honor to have learned. It’s easy to slip back into that groove and try to forget all of this. But what good would that do? There had to have been a reason for me to have gone through this. And even though it doesn’t seem that my name is on that privileged list to share in that knowledge of WHY, I know it’s my job to not forget.

That’s why this blog will stay here, at least as long as WordPress’ servers stick around. And who knows – I’m sure I’ll have more to add next year when I do my 1-year follow up MRI. Hopefully, just more of this final post drivel.

Thank you to EVERYONE who read this faithfully. Knowing people were reading really made a world of difference.

[He walks out of the room, everything now picked up and set aside neatly. He turns around and glances back once more at the La-Z-Boy, smiles slightly, and turns off the light.]

…..aaaaand scene.